Baby Steps

We all agreed that this week was full of baby steps in the right direction. Each day (especially the mornings) Devin was more positive about going to school. She's always happy at pick-up and tells us (in her own time) some amazing things she's learning at school. Friday was her best day yet, with the teacher reporting "zero tears" and a very engaged, helpful Devin.

Guess who won our chart contest? Devin, fair and square!

But, the mornings are still tough. We still struggle with tummy aches, glum faces and getting her to eat some breakfast at 7:00 am. I've been talking with other Mom's and discovering a few things that help. I try to have a small activity set up and waiting for her when we come downstairs in the morning. Sometimes, we make a bracelet. Sometimes, we draw picture or work a puzzle. But, it helps to keep her mind focused on something. We've also tried some short meditations and visualizations about her mornings. I ask her to close her eyes and picture the car pool line...and her classroom. And, we go through the "perfect" morning. One where she smiles and says hello to the children and adults that greet her by name.

In the afternoons, it's very important for us to reconnect and spend time together. This seems to help with separating the next day. I try to have all my tennis played and chores done, by 3:00...so we can hang out. But, she also likes some alone time I've noticed.

Here's a "craft" she worked on happily for over an hour.

Just getting to Friday is cause for celebration around here, so off we went to a nearby gastropub.

After a good (albeit expensive) dinner, we walked to the park.

It's so good to have our happy girl back!

Some Progress

I really hate to jinx it, but we're having a better week around here. The chart "contest" is proving to be a lot of fun and really does help us all focus on better behaviors. Matt lost a check on Monday for putting his work short ON the bag, instead of IN the bag! And, I was a little less patient than I want to be with Devin last night...so I lost a check. But, Dev's going strong with all her goals! We've had no tears in the mornings this week (so far) & much better control of herself in the afternoons.

Devin even started Chess Club at school and seemed to enjoy it. Last night she told me, "I worked with the Binomial and Trinomial cube works today!" So, it appears she's starting to settle in to the Montessori routine. The intense structure in the morning, has been a challenge for her. But, Dev likes structure...once she knows all the rules and routines. She enjoys the second part of the day, as over 1/2 the class goes home and they have rest/recess/free play. Our school's playground is...well...simple. No equipment, just trees and grass. The kids don't seem to notice and Devin has new LOVE of climbing trees.

The following, I copied from her teacher's classroom blog. It helps explain why they spend so much time doing "practical" things in the classroom: Written by Michael Olaf:

It is in learning to do such seemingly mundane activities as dressing, dusting, sweeping, preparing and serving food, and fixing or building, work that the child sees going on around her all day long, that she learns to use her body and mind for a purpose, to concentrate, to complete cycles of activity, to finish what she started, and most importantly to contribute to the important work of the family, the social group.
Practical life activities provide superior groundwork for physical, mental, and social development, and teach the work habits that lead to success in all later academic work.
Practical life work provides practice in eye-hand coordination, the control of large and small muscles, the ability to walk and to carry objects with control, and to behave with knowledge of good manners. These are the activities that bring the child's attention to his own progress and development, and that open up a world of important work. Learning to look a person in the eye when speaking, to listen patiently, to exhibit thoughtfulness through good manners, enables the child to be welcomed into a social group, to be happy and to make others happy.

Children have for eons shown an interest in daily life through make-believe cooking and cleaning. It was one of the pivotal discoveries of Dr. Montessori that, given the chance, children usually choose real work over imaginary. Allowing the child to participate in the daily work he sees going on around him is an act of great respect for, and confidence in, the child. It helps him to feel important to himself and to those around him. He is needed. We can empathize if we think about the difference in treatment of a stranger, perhaps a dinner guest in our home, who is served and waited upon, compared to that of a good friend who is welcomed in our kitchen to talk and laugh while we prepare the meal together. Children don't want to be the guest, they want us to help them to do it themselves.

The child's reason for, and way of, working is different from ours. Adults will usually choose to do things the most efficient and quickest way and to rush through or avoid anything labeled work. A child, on the other hand, is working to master the activity and to practice and perfect her abilities. She may scrub a table each day for weeks, then turn her attention to some other activity to master. We must not look upon this method as inconsistency or laziness but rather cumulative mastery of abilities. The child's purpose is not to complete the task as much as to construct the self. Practical life activities may well be the most important work in the Montessori 3-6 class. By means of these activities the child learns to make intelligent choices, to become physically and mentally independent and responsible. She learns to concentrate, to control muscles, to act with care, to focus, to analyze logical steps and complete a cycle of activity.
This lays the groundwork for sound mental and physical work throughout life."

Relishing the Weekend

It's becoming apparent that the #1 adjustment to our new schedule is...the new schedule. Now, I'm a early-bird for sure. I love to be up before everyone. It makes me feel like I can get ahead somehow. But, the 8:00 am start time for Devin is a toughie. I usually have to wake her up at 6:45, so we have enough time to gently rise, eat breakfast and get ready for the day.

Some days are easier than others. Friday was a difficult day. Devin dug her heels in about going to school that morning...and it was not pretty. But, we got through it and she apparently calmed right down and had a great day. One challenge we discovered this week was her first ear infection. She never had a fever, but started complaining about ear pain. The Dr. said it was mild and the ear drops cleared it right up.

Love how she saves the drama for her mama.

So, we relish the weekends.

We basked in the sun today.

This week called for a little treat, Corbett's.

Could a front porch look any more welcoming?

Devin loves the food and always searches the grounds for the Corbett's "ghost."

The night's Amuse Bouche was a Pulled Pork on Costini. Look how they got that awesome smoky flavor.

"Statue of Liberty."

The sideways bottom tooth fell out tonight:) What a grin.

Since becoming a parent, I've eaten many of my words and I'm doing it again. (I vowed to never to sticker charts/rewards etc...) We're having a family contest this week, to see if we can encourage some positive behavior in the whole family:) The winner gets a prize and Devin was really into the idea, when I floated it Sunday morning. She wanted to work on the charts right away and has been talking about how we will all earn our checks.

Everyone has something to work on...I'm also not drinking wine during the week and being more patient with Devin.

We spent most of the weekend outside, working in the garden. It was beautiful and refreshing...we needed the outside time!

Week Two-The Roller Coaster

I'm going to take a few filler photos for Week 2, since I haven't touched my camera in weeks. Exhausting and confusing are just a few words I might use to describe last week. But, I'll start with some good...a visit from Papa and Grandma.

As always, Devin was thrilled to see her grandparents and soaked in the attention and fun. Showing off her mad swimming skills, was the highlight. We swam almost everyday this summer & certainly made the most of our pool membership. In May, we were splashing around the baby pool and taking small ventures to the shallow end of the big pool. Today, she spends most of her time doing various jumps off the diving board. Cannonball is her favorite and she makes quite a splash. I credit private swim lessons with a very patient teacher and lots of practice. She loves diving to the bottom for objects and we're working on actual swim strokes.

The second week of school was rough for everyone. I got a call mid-morning on Monday that Devin was getting upset at school, crying etc... She was consolable and engaging in activities & happy at pick-up. They just wanted to make me aware of what was going on. Based on what I've discussed with her teachers...a lot was going on last week. Her lead teacher was out sick and the room she was in needed to be tested for mold/fungus etc... So, she was just beginning to understand their routine, when it all changed. The teachers assure me that Devin does fine at school and is happy most of the day. I guess she saves all the drama for us, because the afternoon and evenings have been rough.

The most unusual thing last week, was a total meltdown at ballet class. She was in full panic/tears/don't leave me mode, even though she's been at this studio, with her friends all summer. Through the sobbing, she said she wanted to stay...but didn't want me to leave. Poor thing. I told her either way was fine and maybe ballet (right now) is just too much. I really underestimated how tiring full-day school is for her. We're going to try again next week, but I'm not going to push her either way. She continues to feel badly about this episode, crying at bedtime last night about it.

Watching her struggle with this change has been very difficult for me. I want to do everything in my power to help her through this the "right" way. It's so hard to know when to push and help her face fears and doubts. Or, should I be more lenient? My close friends have been so helpful through this....offering some advice that has really helped. It's so refreshing to have friends who can just listen and empathize. And, make me feel less crazy! I also switched primary care Dr.'s and had my first appointment on Friday. With 2 trips to the ER in 6 weeks for dehydration and nausea, I wanted the full monty check-up...and I got it. She spent 45 minutes taking a careful history and reviewing pages of lab work from the ER. I loved this new Dr. and am very thankful for the recommendation to see her.

(One of my favorite parenting blogs posted about this very topic here: Fearless Parenting) I've been fighting the urge to be a "helicopter" parent from day one.

So, we're relishing the 3-day weekend and I'm (trying) to look forward to next week. Devin's teacher and room should be back in place, so consistency with her routine will improve. They also get 2 lunches brought in this week, which I think she'll enjoy. Also, we're FINALLY expecting some rain...and Devin is excited about getting to go outside at school with her rain boots and raincoat. It's the small things sometimes.

As if we needed one more change, our friend TR is moving to Michigan today. We know it's best for him, as he'll be close to family and can work a job with better hours, but we'll miss him dearly. Devin includes him (as she should) in her list of "loved" people. This summer, he was with us almost everyday to fish, swim or just hang out. I'm not sure who's going to clean my kitchen after dinner...because TR always stepped in and did that for me:) (And, he does it "right" making the granite all shiny)

We've gently and vaguely explained that TR is moving to Michigan and we won't be able to see him as much. Her questions were fast and furious and we stayed intentionally vague. The last thing she needs is one more major change to deal with...and this is a big one. So, our plan is to let some time pass and keep in touch with Facetime and Skype.